I have been struggling with the question, "what next Lord?" Where would you want me best to serve in the Kingdom? I began to experience a sense of restlesness and questioning as to the significance and worth of all that I had done in the past. The Lord gently reminded me over several ocassions of the pride and desire for self worth in all that I do for Him. How easily it is to be self centered. Afterall we were brought up to be independent and to take care first of "me".

Reading again, this great book "Seeing and savouring Jesus Christ" (John Piper) - At last today I found a bookshop that carried many titles from Piper, it must be a good bookshop then...(Canaanland in Centerpoint PJ)

...We are all starved for the glory of God, not self. No one goes to the Grand Canyon to increase self esteem. Why do we go? Because there is greater healing for the soul in beholding splendour than there is in beholding self. Indeed what could be more ludicrous in a vast and glorious universe like this than a human being, on the speck called earth, standing in front of a mirror trying to find significance in his own self image? It is a great sadness that this is the gospel of the modern world.

The glorious gospel of Jesus Christ is for us, but definitely not about us. A simple example :
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son, that whoever belives in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3: 16
If the focus is on me : God loves me so much He sent Jesus to die for me. I am special and He loves me. (nothing wrong with that but should it stop there?)
If the focus is on God : A holy and awesome God, out of His grace and mercy gave His son up for me, a rebellious and sinful man.
The gospel is about the Glory of Christ..........

I wish to take this time of "limbo" to delight in Him, to enjoy Him and to behold His Glory and splendor...........